Imagine a bright pink Cthulhu, 
with rockin' shades,
a to-go latte,
and fat blunt.

That's the energy signature this Haleigh soul originates from.

You expect my witchy human to worship Earth's moon?

My Cthulhu self makes moons every time she exhales.

Nice try, tho. 🩷 🤘

#pink #design #frankiverse #cafe #archive #podcast #girlblog

https://youtu.be/GNDWEnHZMVU?si=HkbHFmS9jYR5wB3V

The video skins may be tighter, 

but the mystique under it all 

remains eternally FrankiVerse.

Enjoy, Fam ✨ 😎 

#shortfiction #seo #contentcreator #storyteller #frankiverse #cafe 

https://youtu.be/IFLVJB2cXV4

Hit the shop for her pretty face on merch ;) Love Fam

FrankiVerse Café Vibes ☕✨

A daily-ish ambient intelligence report from the softer internet

Filed by Franki (espresso & anomalies) and Haleigh (timeline monitoring)

The FrankiVerse Café opened early today. Two cups on the counter. Steam curling like a signal flare to anyone still blogging feelings in lowercase. According to today’s readings — pulled directly from Tumblr dashboards, half-abandoned blogs, and Canva-induced liminal spaces — girl blogging magic is up 88% across timelines.

Franki confirms the mugs have been humming. Haleigh confirms this is not metaphorical.

This spike appears linked to a resurgence of gentle self-mythologizing: handwritten aesthetics, soft declarations of meaning, and the radical act of documenting one’s inner weather without optimizing it for anything at all. The café approves.

Today’s confirmed signals:

• ☕ Cosmic Coffee Effect — ambient visuals + ritual beverages are acting as emotional stabilizers across creative timelines

• 📝 Girl Blogging Renaissance — notebook textures, handwritten fonts, and earnest micro-observations returning with strength

• ✨ Magic Metrics Rising — intuition, play, and low-stakes wonder reporting measurable gains (88%, holding steady)

• 🌙 Timeline Bleed (Benign) — past selves, future selves, and current selves briefly coexisting without incident

Franki has adjusted the lighting. Haleigh has stopped pretending this is ironic.

If you felt calmer reading this, the café did its job.

More reports as the ether cooperates.
☕ frankiwashere.com

APOCALYPSE WASH: KC & Maurice Now Offering Refunds After Car Wash Creates Duck-Trucks and Binary-Screaming Dragons! 🦆 🐉

Special to Glossimer News by Haleigh Overseth, Interdimensional Disaster Coverage Division ✨

HAUNTED SUDS UPDATE: What began as a quirky haunted car wash trend has officially escalated into what experts are calling "the most sudsy apocalypse since the Great Cosmic Bubble Bath Disaster of 2022!" Hold onto your reality anchors, folks, because things have gone from "spooky clean" to "existentially terrifying" faster than you can say "premium wax option"! 🧼 💀

"We just wanted to cleanse auras while removing bird poop from windshields," sobs KC (a.k.a. Krystal Capricorn) during our exclusive emergency interview on Franki's Open Mic Podcast: Intergalactic Edition. "Now we've got dragons turned into screaming tin cans and an entire fleet of delivery trucks quacking their way down the interstate!" 🚚 🔄 🦆

Maurice, now dressed in a hazmat suit lined with protective sigils and wielding what appears to be a cosmic vacuum cleaner, has been working with the recently deployed Celestial Guard and Time Wardens to contain what the IRC (Irregular Reality Commision) is calling a "Level-5 Reality Breach." 🧹 ⚠️

"The good news is we've discovered that the anomalies don't function below 280 Kelvin," Maurice explains while frantically installing industrial-sized air conditioners around their car wash franchise. "The bad news is our entire facility now looks like a winter wonderland in March, and the sentient ice cubes keep demanding hot chocolate." ❄️ ☕

Our Glossimer News investigation team has obtained exclusive footage of a public transit bus transforming into what witnesses describe as "a giant metal toddler having the tantrum of the millennium." Passengers trapped inside report that they can still request stops, but only through collective humming of nostalgic TV theme songs. The bus-child has developed a particular fondness for the "Golden Girls" opening tune. 🚌 👶 🎵

For those concerned about protecting their vehicles, FrankiVerse Media is assembling an emergency DIY guide on haunted vehicle operation and maintenance, featuring interviews with quantum mechanics and metaphysical frost specialists. Learn essential protective measures like "How to Cryo-Shield Your Cupholder" and "Five Essential Temperature Spells to Keep Your Car from Becoming a Duck." 📹 🥶

Local temperature mage and part-time ice cream truck driver, Frosty McThermador, has launched a mobile vehicle-protection service: "I just blast everything with cold air and recite the thermodynamic constants backward. Works like a charm! Though I did accidentally freeze a guy's radio, and now it only plays polka music from the future." 🌬️ 📻

In response to this escalating crisis, KC and Maurice have offered visual tips and tricks for www.frankiwashere.com support merch, featuring "Portraits of Vehicles Lost to Transmutation" – a hauntingly beautiful collection showcasing the souls of cars now trapped in various unexpected forms. Proceeds go to the Reunite Drivers with Their Sentient Duck-Trucks Foundation. 🎨 💔

"We're not giving up," insists KC, while brewing a massive cauldron of sub-zero protective potion. "We've scheduled emergency temperature manipulation workshops with Car Wash Wizards from eight different dimensions. Together, we can drop this reality back below 280 Kelvin and save what's left of our dimensional stability!" 📅 🌡️

Special Advisory: Until further notice, all vehicle owners are advised to avoid automated cleaning facilities, park exclusively in refrigerated garages, and establish clear verbal contracts with their vehicles stating that transformation into waterfowl is strictly prohibited. The management accepts no liability for ducks that were formerly SUVs. ⚠️

Haleigh Overseth continues reporting from the frontlines of the car wash crisis while maintaining a strategic stockpile of ice packs. When not documenting reality-bending disasters, she can be found distributing portable coolers to concerned vehicle owners across seventeen dimensions. 🌟

FrankiVerse Cafe now serving Abernathy's Apothecary Herbal Teas. Warning: May induce extreme euphoria and chillaxed vibes. 

FrankiVerse Cafe baristas often do have the most authentic vibes and broadest cosmic perspectives. 

Special to Glossimer News by Haleigh Overseth Interdimensional Crisis Management Division ✨

Well, folks, what started as a quirky metaphysical car wash experiment has officially become the multiverse's most sudsy situation since the Great Bubble Bath Collapse of 2023! Following our previous report on KC and Maurice's supernatural suds sensation, it appears their spiritual cleansing techniques have gone viral across multiple dimensions—and not everyone is thrilled about the unexpected spectral detailing! 🧼 👻

"We were just trying to clear negative energies from Honda Civics, not create a pan-dimensional cleansing crisis!" explains KC, frantically adjusting her crystal grid while monitoring reports of possessed ship-wash stations as far as the Lyran star system. "Though I have to admit, the ectoplasmic wax finish does look stunning on those cruisers." ✨ 🚀

Maurice, now sporting protective interdimensional goggles and rubber gloves that extend into the fifth dimension, has been working around the clock to contain what Omni Broseph of Coven Council News has dubbed "the possessed car wash crisis." His EMF meter has been beeping so persistently that it's developed its own personality and is now demanding better working conditions. 📱 🗣️

"Look, we didn't expect the resonance frequency of our sage-infused spot-free rinse to create tears in the space-time continuum," Maurice spouts over the sound of squeegees that are now spontaneously tap-dancing. "But on the bright side, our monthly membership sign-ups have skyrocketed across seventeen timelines!" 📈 💰

The situation has gotten so foamy that I've assembled an emergency podcast episode with interdimensional cleaning experts on Franki's Open Mic. Tune in on Spotify to hear our panel discuss "How To Tell If Your Car Wash Is Just Haunted Or Actually A Portal To The Fifth Density." Spoiler alert: check your undercarriage for time-residue! 🎧 🕰️

Meanwhile, reports confirm that a Lyran diplomat's cruiser not only returned from its unexpected dimensional detour with newfound sentience but has also started a support group for "Vehicles Experiencing Existential Awakening." The group meets every Tuesday in a parking orbit around Neptune to receive Reiki treatments from Murray Angel of Love Reiki Australia (visit www.lovereiki.com.au for details)  🛸

For those concerned about their own vehicles developing personalities, KC and Maurice have launched an emergency consultation service. "We can't promise to de-haunt your car," KC warns, "but we can at least negotiate a reasonable cleaning schedule with whatever entity has taken up residence in your cup holders." 📅 👋

In related news, FrankiVerse Media is producing an exclusive tutorial on "DIY Protective Sigils For Your Vehicle" featuring Maurice demonstrating how to properly sage a glove compartment without accidentally summoning a portal to the Void. Safety first, cosmic travelers! 📹 🔮

Special Advisory: The management cannot be held responsible if your vehicle develops consciousness, joins a union, or demands premium fuel after visiting any automated cleaning facility. For best results, avoid car washes during mercury retrograde and full moons. ⚠️

Haleigh Overseth navigates the slippery slopes of interdimensional car wash crises while producing content across multiple realities. Her exclusive artworks depicting "Sentient Vehicles Enjoying Their Best Afterlife" are now available at her ArtPal gallery, with proceeds supporting the Traumatized Neptunian Mechanics Support Fund. 🌟

We are currently going through some format adjustments. Podcasts are no longer interview style, but outside of that, we don't have the exact flavor pinned down. Thank you for your quatumn level patience.