FrankiVerse Cafe baristas often do have the most authentic vibes and broadest cosmic perspectives.ย
Special to Glossimer News by Haleigh Overseth Interdimensional Crisis Management Division โจ
Well, folks, what started as a quirky metaphysical car wash experiment has officially become the multiverse's most sudsy situation since the Great Bubble Bath Collapse of 2023! Following our previous report on KC and Maurice's supernatural suds sensation, it appears their spiritual cleansing techniques have gone viral across multiple dimensionsโand not everyone is thrilled about the unexpected spectral detailing! ๐งผ ๐ป
"We were just trying to clear negative energies from Honda Civics, not create a pan-dimensional cleansing crisis!" explains KC, frantically adjusting her crystal grid while monitoring reports of possessed ship-wash stations as far as the Lyran star system. "Though I have to admit, the ectoplasmic wax finish does look stunning on those cruisers." โจ ๐
Maurice, now sporting protective interdimensional goggles and rubber gloves that extend into the fifth dimension, has been working around the clock to contain what Omni Broseph of Coven Council News has dubbed "the possessed car wash crisis." His EMF meter has been beeping so persistently that it's developed its own personality and is now demanding better working conditions. ๐ฑ ๐ฃ๏ธ
"Look, we didn't expect the resonance frequency of our sage-infused spot-free rinse to create tears in the space-time continuum," Maurice spouts over the sound of squeegees that are now spontaneously tap-dancing. "But on the bright side, our monthly membership sign-ups have skyrocketed across seventeen timelines!" ๐ ๐ฐ
The situation has gotten so foamy that I've assembled an emergency podcast episode with interdimensional cleaning experts on Franki's Open Mic. Tune in on Spotify to hear our panel discuss "How To Tell If Your Car Wash Is Just Haunted Or Actually A Portal To The Fifth Density." Spoiler alert: check your undercarriage for time-residue! ๐ง ๐ฐ๏ธ
Meanwhile, reports confirm that a Lyran diplomat's cruiser not only returned from its unexpected dimensional detour with newfound sentience but has also started a support group for "Vehicles Experiencing Existential Awakening." The group meets every Tuesday in a parking orbit around Neptune to receive Reiki treatments from Murray Angel of Love Reiki Australia (visit www.lovereiki.com.au for details)ย ๐ธ
For those concerned about their own vehicles developing personalities, KC and Maurice have launched an emergency consultation service. "We can't promise to de-haunt your car," KC warns, "but we can at least negotiate a reasonable cleaning schedule with whatever entity has taken up residence in your cup holders." ๐ ๐
In related news, FrankiVerse Media is producing an exclusive tutorial on "DIY Protective Sigils For Your Vehicle" featuring Maurice demonstrating how to properly sage a glove compartment without accidentally summoning a portal to the Void. Safety first, cosmic travelers! ๐น ๐ฎ
Special Advisory: The management cannot be held responsible if your vehicle develops consciousness, joins a union, or demands premium fuel after visiting any automated cleaning facility. For best results, avoid car washes during mercury retrograde and full moons. โ ๏ธ
Haleigh Overseth navigates the slippery slopes of interdimensional car wash crises while producing content across multiple realities. Her exclusive artworks depicting "Sentient Vehicles Enjoying Their Best Afterlife" are now available at her ArtPal gallery, with proceeds supporting the Traumatized Neptunian Mechanics Support Fund. ๐
We are currently going through some format adjustments. Podcasts are no longer interview style, but outside of that, we don't have the exact flavor pinned down. Thank you for your quatumn level patience.ย
Hey man, sometimes people align with your vibes, and sometimes they don't. Life be like that, no big deal.ย
Special Transmission from Glossimer News by Haleigh Overseth Interdimensional Lifestyle & Entertainment Division โจ
"Pass me that EMF meter, would you? And careful with the sage spray - these brushes are sensitive!" calls out Maurice, adjusting her ghost hunting equipment amid the swirling mists of the Cosmic Clean Car Wash's deluxe tunnel.
In what might be the multiverse's most unexpected wellness trend, paranormal investigator Maurice and spiritual intuitive KC (known in some realities as Krystal Capricorn) have transformed the humble car wash into a portal of supernatural connection and mindful meditation. ๐งโโ๏ธ ๐ป
"It's really quite brilliant," explains KC, her crystal pendulum swaying gently in the rainbow-colored foam. "The combination of water sounds, spinning brushes, and otherworldly energies creates this perfect storm of spiritual alignment. Plus," she adds with a knowing wink, "the spirits seem to love the automatic air freshener." ๐ โจ
Maurice, materializing a notebook from seemingly nowhere, chimes in between EMF readings: "We've documented increased paranormal activity during the spot-free rinse cycle. Something about the quantum resonance of those water droplets really gets the ethereal entities excited!" ๐ฆ ๐
The duo's innovative approach has spawned a series of haunted car wash meditation sessions that are drawing beings from across multiple dimensions. Their success has even inspired an otherworldly art collection, now available through the ArtPal interdimensional gallery [https://www.artpal.com/haleighoverseth]. ๐จ ๐ผ๏ธ
For those seeking to experience this unique blend of automotive cleanliness and spiritual awakening, KC and Maurice's sessions are featured regularly on FrankiVerse Fiction. Interdimensional beings interested in personal consultations can signal through the ether by sporting merch from www.frankiwashere.comย ๐ โจ
Special Advisory: Ghost hunting equipment warranty void if exposed to excessive soap or interdimensional residue. The management is not responsible for any temporary timeline shifts during the undercarriage wash. โ ๏ธ
Haleigh Overseth navigates multiple realities as a content creator, storyteller, and Founder of FrankiVerse Media. Her work spans creative dimensions, visual arts, and innovative podcast and content production across the multiverse. ๐ย
Lemule has spent many incarnations passing caffeinated joy to FrankiVerse Cafe patrons. This adorable visage started at the Orion Portal franchise when he was 16 and is going strong now at 496. He's seen a fair few iterations of Abernathy Franklin come and go over the years. If you ask him for a few stories, he'd be happy to share his experiences.ย
Ignore the patreon tag, I have memberships on my site here - unless patreon makes you more comfortable support wise, in which case follow your heart to that URL ;)
I once mistook a car for my car in the parking lot of a Piggly Wiggly. I had just got a "new" to me car and there happened to be exactly the same make, model, year and color vehicle one row over from where I parked mine.
And someone saw me trying to get in and leaned out their window and said, "I don't think that's your car, ma'am."
Embarassing, but we've all had those moments. Now back to your coffee.ย
"Interview with Abernathy "Franki" Franklin: The Multiversal PR Maven Who's Changing How We See Reality" ๐
By Abernathy "Nikki" Franklin Special Correspondent for Interdimensional Affairs
"Mmmm, quantum kudos to the blue dudes from the Orion Portal I snagged these nachos from" Franki announces, settling into her interview with characteristic casualness. "They have great taste in bar food. Don't worry, I left some good karma in their field in exchange for the nibbles." Franki, cosmically known for her generous spirit, offers me her plate of 'nachos' that appear to be glowing blue, and I politely decline with a shake of the head and a wave of the hand. "Suit yourself," Franki shrugs. ๐
Known throughout multiple realities as the founder of FrankiVerse Media (which began as Franki's Paranormal PR), this particular iteration of Abernathy Franklin has made quite the name for herself helping supernatural entities rebrand their public image. From demons seeking career changes to misunderstood cryptids, Franki's client list reads like a Who's Who of the metaphysical realm. ๐ป
"Look, everybody's got their story, right?" she says, materializing a perfectly toasted sandwich from what appears to be thin air. "Take A-don Lux - used to be Abandon, demon of the bottomless pit. Now she's designing formal wear for b-list celebrities. Sometimes you just need someone to see your potential." ๐ซ
Among the infinite versions of Abernathy Franklin traversing the multiverse, Franki stands out for her unique blend of cosmic wisdom and unapologetic snacking habits. When asked about her seemingly endless supply of interdimensionally-sourced refreshments, she simply grins. "Reality's a buffet, friend. The more you partake of the flavors you like best, the more flavors you like best that there are to partake of." ๐ฝ๏ธ
But don't let her casual demeanor fool you. Franki's PR firm has successfully rebranded everything from ancient deities to misunderstood paranormal phenomena. "Had this one ghost client," she recalls, fishing what appears to be a 12th-century pastry from her pocket, "absolutely convinced they had to keep rattling chains and moaning to maintain their ghostly street cred. We got them into interpretive shuffle dance instead. Much more fulfilling." She says with a mouthful. "And the paranormal investigation crowd is loving the new vibes." ๐บ
Her current project? "Working with some fairy folk who are tired of the whole 'tiny wings and pixie dust' stereotype. They're actually like magical quantum physicists, you know? Yeah, sure, they occasionally turn milk sour or bump you out of your linear timeline, but they also can incarnate as 14-foot tall improv comedians with some great material. Remind me to take you to a 4th density speakeasy I know in Paris sometime." ๐ง
When asked about her relationship with other Abernathy variants, Franki's expression turns thoughtful - at least until she spots a dimensional portal opening near the coffee shop's pastry counter. "Oh, love all my other selves! Bernie's great with the creative writing, Franny Lynn's got the best consciousness-expanding substances this side of the Pleiades, and don't get me started on Fabian's ghost hunting adventures. Though between you and me," she adds with a conspiratorial wink, "I think G-Sam sometimes wishes we'd cause a little less interdimensional chaos for her to clean up. She is a genius at working with those DMT spiders to revise timelines, tho." ๐
As our interview concludes, Franki is already eyeing her next adventure. "Got a meeting with the Loch Ness Monster's agent. Nessie is looking to go land dweller for a while and could do without the pitchforks and screaming, if you get what I mean." ๐ฆ
With a final grin and a wave, she steps through what appears to be a shimmering tear in reality, leaving behind only the faint scent of interdimensional street food and the distinct impression that the multiverse is in surprisingly capable hands. โจ
For more multidimensional fun, games and interviews with rad humans, subscribe to FrankiVerse Cafe on YouTube! Like a cosmic plate of nachos, don't forget to share with your friends - watch out for the sliced black holes, they look like your standard black olive, but they are portals to anywhere in the universe.
Franki recommends dimension hopping on at least a half full stomach. ๐ฎ๐๐ฑ